Tag Archives: LCD

I am stuck on band-aids…

I am reminded of that old commercial for Band-Aids…that  jingle sticks in my head like a rat in a trap…

Envision a little kid sitting on the end of a dock, pointing a bandaged finger to a bandaged knee. Water dripping everywhere, she is swinging her legs and happily singing, “I am stuck on band-aid brand ’cause band-aid’s stuck on me…” OY! Now is when I need Jacob to sing the “Dora the Explorer” song to me, which is what he does when something like Bohemian Rhapsody gets jammed in my looping memory, as often happens, due to my LCD*. You’d be surprised how quickly the Dora song can banish any song from my brain.  Of course, then you are stuck with that one and you must quickly find another, more palatable tune.  Yikes!  But I digress…

Anybody out there ever had a wart…the common kind (y’all behave!)…or have your kids had one?  They are pretty creepy, I have to say.  Emma (who would be mortified to know that I am writing about this…as mortified as she would be if I were to write about bra shopping or leg shaving, but we won’t be discussing that, will we?), well, Emma  has had a wart growing on her index finger for about a year now.  Never having had wart experience as a mother, I was not sure how to proceed.  I’ve seen the Compound W commercials over the years and have pretty much ignored them because they did not apply to me. Clearly, they do not have a commercial with a catchy jingle! So in my less than vast wart knowledge, I did not really seek any medical advice.  No, I just went to my local CVS drugstore and perused the wart section.   At the time (several months ago), I found this freezy stuff (made by Dr. Scholl’s) and purchased it.  Emma, who has zero pain tolerance, looked at me with some trepidation, and after some convincing,  she let me apply the freezy stuff.

Two things about the freezy stuff: 1.  It hurts.  A lot.  2. It doesn’t work.

It says you can try again after a couple of weeks, but due to pain concerns, I was not able to use my mad convincing skillz to make Emma believe that it was the right thing to do for a second time.  Summer came and the wart sort of took a back seat.  We were too busy living our fun summer life.  As school began to loom, Emma mentioned the wart.  And by “mentioned”, I mean she walked up to me and held her warty index finger in my face <shiver>.  She then asked, “What are we going to do about this?” I told her we would handle it, but then proceeded to move on with life. (Bad mother award, yeah, I know.)

About three weeks ago, Emma and I were watching television, and she suddenly and randomly looked at me and said, “Mom, I want to get some of those wart band-aids.”  I gave her my best “what chu talkin’ bout, Willis” face.  She said that Victoria (her cousin, whom she had seen at my grandma’s 90th birthday bash)  had a wart on her knee and had one of these wart curing band-aids on it.  (When I hear about these things, I SO wish I had been the one to think them up.  I mean, band-aids to cure the warts? Really!)  So, we went, right then, back to the drugstore and purchased ourselves some wart curing band-aids.  They are made by Compound W, by the way.

Four things about wart band-aids: 1. No pain is involved. 2.They seem to be very water resistant. 3. They are kind of expensive (14 band-aids for $10.99, to be changed every 48 hours)  BUT  4. They WORK!

Each time we have changed the band-aid, Old Warty seems to be disintegrating and shrinking.  Don’t get me wrong, it still looks uglier than a monkey’s armpit.  But, I am feeling like this is the ticket to being wart-free!  Yeah!

So for future reference, all you wart sufferers, now or in the future, fore go the freezy stuff and just head straight for the band-aid aisle!  Your daughter will thank you. And hopefully she won’t be jamming her warty finger up in your grill.

UPDATE: Still no ants. Pepper is the ticket!  And it won’t kill your dog or small children!  Just wanted to keep y’all posted on this very critical info.

*LCD – Better known as Lyric Compulsive Disorder. This is a diagnosis I (made up and) gave myself due to my uncontrollable compulsion to associate song lyrics, and subsequently sing them aloud, with pretty much any situation or statement I hear. LCD sufferers UNITE!

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Filed under Humor, Kids

Throwback

 

 

Word of the Day, according to my perpetual calendar:

schlemiel: n. an unlucky bungler: chump.

Jerry’s cousin was the kind of schlemiel who, upon finding happiness in a relationship, would always find a way to mess it up.

Now, you’ve gotta KNOW,  that immediately, my LCD mind starts singing…

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.  Schlemiel, schlamazel, hassenfeffer incorporated…We’re gonna do it.  Give us any chance, we’ll take it.  Read us any rule, we’ll break it.  We’re gonna make our dreams come true.  Doin’ it our way…”

I’m guessing that a schlamazel is something along the same lines as a schlemiel?  Just a couple of unlucky, buffoonish type people?  Such as, oh, let me see…Laverne and Shirley?  Just a wild crazy guess.  It’s all Yiddish to me anyway, but it begs the question…who was the schlemiel and who was the schlamazel? 

Discuss. 

That just leaves hassenfeffer, and I’ll let you talk amongst yourselves about that one.

SIGH.  I used to love me some Laverne & Shirley. 

You remember them…those two crazy kids that aired right after Happy Days.  Laverne De Fazio, with her Milk and Pepsi fetish.  Shirley Feeny, with her “Boo Boo Kitty”.  Not to mention the kooky pair, Lenny and Squiggy, from upstairs.  Squiggy and his Cosmo Kramer-esque…”Hellooooooooo” whenever he threw open the girls’ apartment door. 

Good clean fun, it was.  Back in the days of The Love Boat and “It’s de plane, boss” Fantasy Island.  Sonny and Cher and Donny and Marie.  Yes, those were the days…Before the insanity that is, Reality TV.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Enjoy:

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Filed under Back in the Day

Whatnot

“You’d better start mixing toothpaste with your shampoo. You’re getting a cavity in your brain.” ~Archie Bunker (character in All in the Family, 1971)

———-

It’s so odd.  Sometimes I have so much to say and can whip out 3 or 4 blogs in a week and then other times my brain is mush and feel like I have absolutely nothing to say.  I’d say today is one of those days, yet I’m feeling like it’s been too many days since I posted anything, so here’s what you’re getting….time-change-mushy-brain-blog.

Yes, the time change.  Why does losing one hour sleep mess with your ability to function?  Tell me that.  I have felt so sleepy the last two mornings.  My brain feels all mushy.  My kids were like two little zombies this morning.  Bless their hearts.  Hasn’t seemed to affect Lubie, though.  He’s in there just cheerily CHIRP CHIRP CHIRPing away…

Wait.  I need coffee.

…Slurp.  Ahhh. That’s better.  Slurp slurp some more.  I’ll wake up in a few minutes.

Now where was I?  Oh yes, Lubie.  Chirping.  Happy chirping.  Oh, the chirping…it’s almost too much for me today! 

My MIL sent us–er, I should say, sent my son–one of those desk calendars back at the first of the year.  (Grandma is all about educating her grandbabies.)  You know, the kind that you tear off each day.  Well, actually she sent us TWO.  Nevermind I keep my ginormous family calendar  on the fridge which seems to keep this household in fine working order.  I’ve used this same brand of calendar for years now and I LOVE my big ole calendar.  Takes up the whole side of the fridge.  But I digress…

Back to the desk calendar(s).  The one on the computer desk has 365, nay 366 (as it is Leap Year this year), words of the day.  Yes, for every day of the year, you, my friends, can learn a new word.  Words such as abscond, macaroni (?), emote, parsimonious, meme, weal, and verbatim.  Today’s word is capitulate.  Capitulate is a verb meaning to surrender often after negotiation of terms or to cease resisting; to acquiesce.  Now, I ask you, shouldn’t acquiesce be a word of the day?  They also offer a sentence to further define your word:  During negotiations for her comic strip, Sally let it be known that she was willing to forgo the large advance but would refuse to capitulate in the area of creative control.  Anyway, just thought I’d share.  Oh, I mentioned two desk calendars.  The second one is called “College Board SAT” study calender. I’ve gotta tell you that I’m just pretty much peeling those babies off every day and using the back for scratch paper.  I’m so far gone from the SAT days, I just can’t even make my brain try to do those problems anymore.  I mean, why???  So I won’t bore you with the SAT question of the day.  You’re welcome. 

Slurp.  Slurp.

The words from the Mamas and Papas song “Monday Monday”  keep going through my head this morning.  “Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day…”  I will OFTEN get a song stuck in my head on this continuous loop.  It’s not that they’re just in my head…I have to sing them out loud.  Doesn’t matter who’s listening.  This weekend, I had the Boy George (Culture Club) song “Too Shy” stuck.  “You’re too shy, shy.  Hush, hush.  Eye to eye…”  Random, I know.(What the heck does that MEAN anyway??)  She was like “Mooooom!”  I can hardly blame her.  It annoys me as well!  And I said to Emma, “Quick give me another one!”  She looked at me like I had three heads.  Oy!

Monday, Monday…

“Sleep deprivation is the most common brain impairment.” ~William C. Dement (from The Promise of Sleep, 1999, p. 231)

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Filed under Day to Day, Music