Tag Archives: friendship

For when you don’t know what to say.

I have started, stopped, deleted, and restarted this post about 15 times. I’ve wanted to write, but my heart has felt so heavy and I just didn’t know what to say or if I should even say anything at all…not everyone wants their business put out on the internet, you know. But here it is.

The last two and a half weeks have felt like some kind of a weird whirlwind, a roller coaster, a strange dream…just insert whatever analogy you can dream up that applies to experiencing the heights of joy and the depths of sorrow in a matter of hours.

We had a beautiful Thanksgiving with family and then I went for a fun weekend of shopping in Atlanta with my sister-in-law and another friend a week after that. All of that falls into the joy category.

Then I got the text, at 7 o’clock on Sunday morning a week ago now. Call me when you get up—was all it said. Very unusual for my friend to text me at that time. I knew something was wrong.

I got up then, at 7, on the morning I was to return from my shopping trip. I called her. On the other end of the phone was my precious friend, my sister, my best friend for almost 30 years, telling me the devastating news that her sweet Daddy had passed away unexpectedly.

The sorrow.

I was dumbfounded—still am, really. Chatty girl that I am, I was at a loss for words. I did not know what to say. I sat there and wept for my friend, for her kids, for her mom, for myself and in my shock was only able to say to her, “I’m so, so sorry.” and “I love you.”

Somehow it just didn’t feel like enough. When you get news like this, there is always this inexplicable need to do something. To help carry your loved one’s grief in some way.

But do what?

In that moment, I could only try to imagine her pain and foggily try to process this information and then feebly try to convey my deep love for her and her family. But truly, all I really wanted to do was get in my car and go to her—two states away at the time—and hug her so tight. Fortunately, a couple of days later, I was able to do just that. Unfortunately, my time with her was so brief. Oh, but I am so grateful that I was able to go, even for a short time.

My heart is suddenly keenly aware of those who go through this season with sorrow and hurt and loss. You know, those things that you never really get over, but somehow learn to live with. And though I know that, as believers, we do not grieve for our loved ones as those who have no hope, grief is hard. Loss is devastatingly sad and painful. And grieving while at the same time trying to get back to the business of living can be elusive. We need each other’s help to do that. We need each other so much.

And so, when I don’t know what else to say or do, I sit, I weep, I hug, I text, I send a card. I try to make my friend smile. I wait to see if she wants to talk or cry or not talk at all.

I pray. And pray some more.

And I say “I’m so sorry” and “I love you.”

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NASB

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Hot Tea, Warm Friendship. Day 15

On the heels of my tea lament of the other day, today I have to give a public shout out to my new friend, Coreyanne. She is the one who inspired me to get back on that liquid gold. She has come to the rescue! Not only did she tell me that she had the tea for me, but she also made me some and then delivered it to me this morning at the homeschool co-op, already sweetened and ready for consumption! And in an adorable little thermos, no less—see the photo. Cute, right? And all British and stuff to boot! Keep Calm, Carry On, and Drink Tea

Nectar, I tell you! Sweet, golden nectar. I owe you, girl!

Kind, thoughtful gestures, like Corey’s, are precious. And though it may seem like a small thing, it meant a lot to me.

I am so thankful for the people that God has so graciously placed in my life.

The one who has listened to me nearly every. single. morning. for the last 5 years during our routine morning phone call.

The ones at the homeschool co-op who teach my son.

The one who, when I was a tired, stressed out young mom with little ones, was further down the road of life and mentored me during a tough time.

The ones who meet me for coffee or tea and chat and chat and chat—and who don’t seem to be offended by my incessant chattiness. (Thanks for that, y’all!)

The one who is such an incredible prayer warrior and who laughs at the crazy stuff I say.

The ones whom you meet and right away, BOOM!, there is that Soul Sister connection.

The one who first said to me, so gently and lovingly, “Have you ever noticed….” about Jacob and then walked beside us as we went through the testing process, because she had lived it too, with her own son.

The one who, without fail, always has such a kind, encouraging word to say to me.

The one who knew me during the awkward high school years and how, since then, we have stayed in touch, however sporadically, and when we have the fleeting opportunity to reconnect, it’s as if we see each other every day.

The ones, new and old, who give so much—big and small—to me and my family.

These are my people! I count them all as blessings. Every day.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” ~Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NLT)

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30 Days of Thankfulness-Days 12 & 13

So, I am behind a day…but for good reason!

  • I am so thankful for lifelong friends who are willing to drive a ways to see you for the weekend!!

We have had such fun this weekend and I am so thankful that my sweet friend, Kristi, was willing to make a road trip to SC to see me!  She and her daughter, Sarah, of my most famous post ever, came down for a girls’ weekend.  There was a lot of shopping, laughing, Wii playing, and eating.

It is so good to just sit back and relax with people who you don’t have to clean house for. Who you have known forever and who you have such a comfort level with. Who you just pick up with wherever you left off the last time you talked. Do y’all know what I am saying?

Kristi is my BFF since 10th grade.  I am pretty sure our friendship was solidified in Spanish class at NPHS. Muchas gracias, Sra. Acevez! We developed one of those stay up talking all night long spill your guts deep convos kind of friendships. We shared our deepest secrets and were inseparable for several years.  Even when I moved away the summer before our senior year, we still managed to remain close.  We spoke on the phone every Sunday, we wrote letters, and then my Dad flew her up to where we lived to surprise me once. Sadly, there was no Skype, texting or email back in the day! But no matter! She was my maid of honor at my wedding, and I was her matron of honor.  We have children who are basically stair steps and who are all friends. It is a blessing to have such friendship.

Kristi is a hard working kindergarten teacher. She loves her job and she is good at it. She works hard at her church. She works hard for her family at home. She does not whine, complain or make excuses about anything. She is a real go-getter tell it like it is kinda girl. And I like that.  I often wish I was more like her.

We don’t get to talk as often as we’d like and we definitely don’t get to visit as often as we’d like, but when we do, it is always good. She laughs at the ridiculous things I say and do and she would definitely tell me if I had any glick between my teeth.  She is a true friend.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”  ~Elisabeth Foley

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