Tag Archives: change

The Legacy

“God’s purpose was to do such a deep work in Job that every generation after him would benefit from it.” ~Bob Sorge, The Fire of Delayed Answers

what is my legacy

Through the fires of this life and the waiting for God’s answers, we are inevitably changed at our core—one way or another, for good or for ill, toward the face of God or away from it. We have a choice about which kind of change will come. And that choice can leave a legacy of faith and victory or a heritage of bitterness and self-pity.

Before all Job’s afflictions, he was a man of faith and great material success and wealth. But Sorge says Job “was living in a dimension of limited fruitfulness spiritually” and was unsuccessful in “igniting his own children with his love for God.”

After he had come through the fire, we see in Job a radical transformation—from a man who genuinely loved God, but was missing out on that deep, intimate understanding of who God really was and what His purposes were, into a man whose “faith had survived the crucible, and now he owned an intimate knowledge of God that would radiate to others a profound confidence in his Lord.” He had come forth as gold. And that spilled over into his new life and children.

The father Job can be on the other side of his suffering is a father who gives his second set of children a glimpse into the Father’s Heart, a testimony of deep and abiding faith and obedience to God and the knowledge and understanding that God will accomplish His purposes. He can teach his children about God’s love and mercy, about restoration and about perseverance and victory in difficult circumstances.

Because of his suffering, Job could be a man who bore spiritual fruit and could reach his children and every generation after, for God’s Kingdom.

And so I ask myself, what kind of legacy am I giving my kids?

Am I lighting a spiritual fire in my children and showing them what true and deep faith and utter dependence on God looks like? Am I living a life that produces fruit in the kingdom of God? When times are tough, do my kids see a mom who perseveres and is faithful and willing to suffer according to God’s will?

Maybe, but is it enough?

And if it is not, I am not only cheating my children, but I am also cheating myself by merely scratching the surface of the deeply intimate relationship that God desires to have with us. I want to show them that there is more.

It is hard to acknowledge my inadequacies as a parent. But it is only more proof of how desperately I need Jesus and His mercy and His work in my life. I want to go deeper and I pray that He will do that deep work in me that will produce lasting changes that bear fruit, so that I can pour that out into my children to the glory of God, for His Kingdom, and for the generations to come.

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I am excited to be joining in on a weekly book discussion led by Jason Stasyszen  and Sarah Salter. Please visit them to see other posts in response to The Fire of Delayed Answers by Bob Sorge, at Jason’s blog—Connecting to Impact, and Sarah’s blog—Living Between the Lines. And even if you are not reading the book, please feel free to jump into the discussion!

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Filed under Faith, Kids, Parenting

Change is good. Days 11 & 12

30 days of thankfulnessIt is safe to say that I am not a fan of change. (Really though, do you know anybody who is??) I like to know “the plan”. I like when things go according that plan.

Now, that is not to say that I can’t roll with change when it happens, because I can, and do, on a daily basis. But that does not mean I am thrilled about it. I simply don’t love it.

Some changes I can totally get behind, though.

The recent time change is one of those things. I am a big fan of that! No, I don’t love that it is dark at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, but I DO love that it is beautifully bright and shiny at 6:50 a.m. when I am driving my daughter to school! It really does something for me.

I also love to see my kids grow and change.

Jacob, nearly 18 and a home school senior this year, went to a PARTY this weekend. If you’ve been around here for any time at all, you know that Jacob has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is part of the autism spectrum, and he is not a super social guy. So, to say that he went to a party, well, that is saying a mouthful! He has come so far.

Four years ago, due to his severe sound sensitivity, there is no way he would have gone to that party.

No way, y’all. 

But my Jacob of today, my child who has worked so hard to grow into the young man he is now, decided he would go. So, I dropped him off there. And when the Hub and I arrived to pick him up, he was standing around the bonfire with about six other teenagers. Laughing. Talking. You know, doing regular teenager-y things.

As we walked up, one of the girls saw us and said, “Oh, no, you don’t have to go now, do you, Jacob?” <secret mother smile here> We did not leave right away and as we stood around, we watched one of the girls tossing marshmallows in the air for Jacob to catch. We watched one of the other boys jam a crazy number of marshmallows in his mouth just to see how many he could get in there, while all the other kids were egging him on and cracking up. And while he’s doing that, in my mind, I’m trying to figure out how I would clear his airway when it got blocked with all those marshmallows. <Oh, so THIS is what typical teens act like? Okay, then.> Jacob had a great time.

Today, I got an email from Jacob’s doctor: the amazing woman, who is a child/adolescent psychiatrist, and one of the instruments God has used to help Jacob deal with his anxiety and sensory challenges. She was just checking in and wondering if we might schedule a yearly appointment with her. 

What? It’s been a year since we saw her? No, wait, it’s been more than a year, in fact. Things have changed that much. Things are going that well that we haven’t even thought about needing to go visit her.

In her email, she said this about Jacob: “I use his success as an example when I am talking to folks that have hearing sensitivity.”

Whoa.

Jacob’s story could possibly encourage another person who is suffering like he was? God-willing! Yes!

My heart is filled with so much gratitude. Thank You, Lord! Thank You for using this thing, which was so horrible for Jacob and for our family in those darkest of moments, to give hope and encouragement to someone else!

Thank God that He allowed us to find this doctor who was able to help us—not just Jacob, but our whole family.

I am so thankful that Jacob persevered and went to go do those hard and scary things so that he could get through them, and then each time he did go to Wal-mart, or a movie, or a restaurant, or the fair, or classes at the co-op without earplugs, it got progressively easier.

I am so thankful that, by the grace of God, I have been able to step away and let some of those hard and scary things happen. MAN, that is so, so hard! Just call me El Presidente…that is, Presidente of the Helicopter Moms Society! Yes, it was hard to take a (huge) step  back. But so worth it. And it gives me so much hope for the future for my son.

There was a time when I could never imagine that Jacob would be where he is today. Oh, I never lost hope and I believed it could be, but I could not imagine it.

And yet, here we are.

Yes, change is good. I can’t wait to see what is next.

 

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide

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Filed under 30 Days of Thankfulness, Autism Days