Category Archives: Two Shoes Tuesday

The myth of multi-tasking.

“Hutchison’s Law: Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” ~Robert Bloch

ADD or BMSRecently I have begun hanging out at the Starbucks near the community college with my Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte while Jacob is in class. It really doesn’t make sense to drive nearly 30 minutes to the school and nearly 30 minutes back home, then do it all over again in a couple of hours. Can we say, gas prices?? Cha-ching!

So I pack up my bag of tricks, drop Jacob off at school and head over to do some “work” at Starbucks.

Oh, honey, I bring my books for my co-op classes. I have my laptop. My calendar. My book club book (currently The Picture of Dorian Gray…on Chapter 3 presently.). My other book club book (The Fire of Delayed Answers by Bob Sorge, which is excellent stuff, indeed. Highly recommend. PLUG: I have been participating in an online discussion each Wednesday. Come back tomorrow for my response to this week’s chapter.)

Think, Mary Poppins’ bottomless bag. Who knows what else is might be in there? 

I come each time with very high hopes of great accomplishments—intentions to get everything all read and planned for my Thursday co-op classes, get a blog post written, respond to emails, and read a few chapters in both book club books. No big deal, right?

But alas, I never fail to be sidetracked by the many distractions around me.

This is a shocker, I know. <insert mocking laughter here>

I think my failure to accomplish all my plans might be due to an affliction akin to having eyes bigger than your stomach. You know, the best laid plans and all that.

Inevitably, I end up playing Words With Friends or blog hopping or making a friend or inadvertently overhearing the conversation of the folks next to me or Facebooking or, or, or…Or better yet, trying to do all the aforementioned things all at one time. And then there are the times my mind just starts to wander. (Did I leave the stove on? Did I pay the cable bill? Did I sign that thing for Emma for school? Aw, dang, I forgot to run the dishwasher. Did I close the garage door?)

Sad, but true.

Hello??? Distracted much?

I have come to the conclusion that the whole multi-tasking thing is a big lie. It is simply doing many things with little success. Here is the predicament in which I find myself—starting one thing before finishing another and then forgetting ever starting the first thing.

For years, I have somewhat jokingly called myself ADD. Nothing official, of course, but clearly the signs are there. You could probably, more accurately call my problem BMS—Busy Mother Syndrome. My life is full of distractions, yet I just keep pressing on, doing the next thing. Putting out fires as I go. And hoping all the important stuff is done.

However, occasionally, I will manage to focus long enough to actually finish something during my Starbucks visit before I have to return to collect Jacob—like today!

SCORE!

But, hey, even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in a while, right?

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This is my offering for Two Shoes Tuesday. Each week, Josie gives two word prompts to choose from and you must include one or both of them  in an original essay, poem or story. You can use them as a theme or the words themselves. This week’s words were distraction and tears.

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Filed under Humor, Two Shoes Tuesday

Welcome to the South: The Land of White Lies

“Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.” ~Robert Brault

If you want to do something to make my mama mad, just go ahead and lie to her. My mama values honesty and integrity. She believes that you should tell the truth and do what you say you are going to do. Nothing wrong with that! She is right.

And that is how I was raised. I think that is why I hate politics so much. But I suppose that is a different post.

The thing about telling lies is, that you think you have covered up the truth. However, by lying, you have not made the truth any less true, a little more obscure, maybe, but still true. The truth is still out there, following you around. And it has a way of eventually finding you. And biting you on the behind.

I was raised in the South. The land of sweet tea and “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am.” The land of small towns where everybody knows your business and most girls have two first names like “Mary Beth” or “Anna Grace.” The land where “Hey, y’all!” and  “Aww! Don’t you look pretty today!” (whether true or not) are common greetings.

Sometimes I think the South is the Land of White Lies. The land where telling half truths or slathering the truth in some sort of weird non-compliment is the norm—always stated in a sing-song-y tone of voice and punctuated with a smile, of course.

We are the masters of obscuring the truth. You know, ‘cause we wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, now, would we?

Funny Courtesy Hello Ecard: Just have to remember to say 'Bless Her Heart.' All is forgiven then.

(image credit: someecards)

Let me submit these to you:

What she said: Bless her heart. What she meant: Lord have mercy, she is a train wreck!

What she said: Well, now THAT is a hairdo! What she meant: You should get your money back, honey, ‘cause you are lookin’ a sight!

What she said: Well, now, look at YOU! What she meant: Really? You chose to wear your pajama pants out in public?

What she said: What a sweet baby! What she meant: That is the scariest lookin’ child I have ever seen!

What she said: No, honey, that doesn’t make your butt look big—it makes  your waist look really small! What she meant: Wow, your butt is really big. You should burn that outfit NOW.

Truth be told, my mama never took to this practice. She just didn’t have the time for any fake-y behavior or for folks who engaged in such behavior. And I don’t subscribe to it myself, not as a general practice. But I would be lying if I said I never used the “Bless her heart” line.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Southern Girl! I appreciate the ability to say difficult things with a smile and as much sweetness as I can muster. Some of us can speak the truth in love without lying or being unkind.

Some Southerners are just plain mean in all their syrup-y so-called sweetness and someone, let’s say a non-Southerner, after being told off by some sweet ole Southern Belle, won’t even know what hit ‘em! They walk away all confused and about ten minutes later it hits them—“Wait a minute! She just said my butt looked big…to my face!” 

All Southerners are not that way, of course. But we are human. And in our humanity, we all lie at times. I am guilty too—even in all my inbred belief in honesty and integrity, I am imperfect.

Yes, I lied to my parents when I was a teenager—many times. (Sorry, Mama!) Yes, I taught my kids to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Yes, I have told someone they look great when maybe they did not. (Not any of you reading this.)  And yes, those are lies.

As much as I believe in honesty, I also believe in mercy and second chances. I have been forgiven so much…and continue to be forgiven every time I lie or screw up in some other way, as I am often wont to do. And I am sure I will tell someone at some point in the future, “Yes, that IS a great outfit!” Or maybe I just won’t say anything at all. Bless my heart.

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This is my offering for Two Shoes Tuesday. Each week, Josie gives two word prompts to choose from and you must include one or both of them  in an original essay, poem or story. You can use them as a theme or the words themselves. This week’s words were white and lies.

Want to link up? Click below:

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Filed under Humor, Two Shoes Tuesday

Wild

 

Wild…

Hair with a mind of its own in the mornings—especially those unruly grays.

Horses that roam the coastal islands of my fair home state—oblivious to the cares of life.

Summer storms that rage outside with thunder that shakes my windows and lightning that flashes angrily across the sky.130

Weeds masquerading as flowers in my unkempt garden.

Wal-Mart shoppers with their overflowing carts impatiently waiting in the checkout line.

Jiffy, that silly pup, dashing erratically around the backyard, sure she smells something interesting and intent on capturing it and sufficiently rolling around on it.

My heart as it races for joy at good news. “Healed”, the doctor said.

My praises as I send them up to God. Rejoicing wildly with heart-bursting gratitude.

 

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This is my offering for Two Shoes Tuesday. Each week, Josie gives two word prompts to choose from and you must include one or both of them  in an original essay, poem or story. You can use them as a theme or the words themselves. This week’s words were creature and wild.

Want to link up? Click below:

18 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Two Shoes Tuesday