Category Archives: The ‘Hood

Orange you tired of Peanut Butter?

 

 

UGH!  It used to just be the little next door neighbor BOYS that would hang out in our yard, or sometimes just walk in our back door unannounced. They would always be there stalking poor Jacob every time he would carefully and oh-so-quietly slide the back door open.

And now it’s their CAT too???!  OY VEY.

Earlier in the summer, I redid our flower beds in the front of the house laid down some of the stuff that is supposed to repel the weeds and then put some nice mulch out.  It looks quite nice, if I do say so myself.

Well, apparently Peanut Butter, the cat, thinks it’s quite nice too…AS A LITTER BOX!  Not only that, but the cat seems to make himself right at home—under my car, lounging on my driveway, relaxing in my bushes or out in the yard.  I find myself getting more and more annoyed.  Dang, at least the little boys don’t take a dump in my mulch.

SIGH.

Then on Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in the front room of our house, at the computer desk, talking on the phone with my sweet friend Lisa P. (hollaaaa!). All of a sudden, I look out the window and I see him.

Caught him red handed copping a squat in the mulch around the dinky tree in my front yard!

Still on the phone, I bolt out the front door, like a raving lunatic, shouting and shoo-ing the cat in mid squat.  He runs off, of course.  I mean, wouldn’t you if some crazy person was coming at you like that?

I smile in satisfaction at my success, and then, I look up.

A couple of houses down the street, I see three of my neighbors (not the cat owners) have enjoyed the show as well.

You know I DO try to bring joy to my friends and neighbors.  SO embarrassing. Oh well.

I’m not going to lie.  I have had some ill will towards Peanut Butter in recent days.  I even consulted my friend Google on“how to keep cats out of your flower bed”.  I guess I don’t want to *really* hurt him.  But I do want him to go away.  Sadly, I am too wimpy to go to the neighbors themselves and say, “hey, your cat is a…nuisance”.  I could secretly call animal control.  But then, I’d feel all guilty.

For now, I’m just putting some orange slices out in the flower bed and around my tree.  Google told me that cats dislike citrus.

I hope Google is right.  Cause, I’d hate for something bad to happen to the kitty.

But, you didn’t hear that from me.

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Filed under Day to Day, Humor, The 'Hood

Would you like fries with that, Superman?

“Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.”  ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

A funny thing happened Friday morning on the way to…wait, I wasn’t on the way to anywhere…I was just sitting at my desk, minding my own business (1st mistake), talking on the cellie (2nd mistake) to my dear friend Lisa.  Just chatting away about who knows what. When all of a sudden, I happened to swivel around in my swivelly desk chair only to see my neighbor’s 4 year old son standing there.  RIGHT there.  Looking at me.  In his Superman PJ’s no less…complete with cape.  HOLY COW…scared the living daylights out of me!!!  I let out a little scream and my friend must have thought something terrible had happened.  I mean, technically it WAS a home invasion, I suppose.  I was just a tad freaked out…reasonably so, doncha think?  I mean, I realize he is 4 and all, but dang!  He did TOTALLY sneak up on me.  He’s lucky I didn’t go all “MADEA” on him!  Don’t people teach their children to KNOCK???

Anyway that little face looked up at me and said, “Can you get Peanut?” (Peanut Butter is the name of their roving orange tabby kitty who likes to jump the fence and torture my Jiffy.)  I said, “Does your mama know where you are?”  He said, “I need you to get Peanut back for me.”  I realized that he was distressed because Peanut was in our yard.  So I tell him that Peanut comes to visit us from time to time and I was sure he’d jump the fence back into their yard whenever he got good and ready.  And then I escorted the young caped crusader out the back door, from whence he came. <That kid is so stinkin’ cute>  As we exited the back door, I heard his mama hollering for him to get himself back home.  I watched him scale the fence and then I walked back in the back door.  And promptly locked it behind me.  I guess that’ll teach me to leave the back door unlocked!

In other news…last night I was lying in bed watching the 11 o’clock news when I hear this story…

A Florida woman, unhappy with her drive-thru experience, calls 911, not once, but THREE TIMES, to report that the McDonald’s restaurant is out of CHICKEN NUGGETS <Seriously???>, would not give her a refund and <oh the horror!> wants to give her a substitute meal.  {I mean, who among us hasn’t had a fast food emergency?? But did WE call 911?  Noooooooo. We keep our craziness in check!}  As a result, the Po-Po were called and the woman was issued a citation for misuse of 911 services.

I don’t make this stuff up, people!!  I could NOT stop laughing.  Hubby, who was mostly asleep, kept asking me what was so funny. I was trying to tell him, but was unable due to all my snorting and crying.   He then informed me that I needed to be quiet and go to sleep.  It was so ridiculous, I just couldn’t collect myself.

What have we learned here, my friends???

A. News stations are desperate for “news” apparently.

B. The word “emergency” is a relative term.

C. People are Kay – Ray – Zay!!!!

and

D. These are the very stories that help us all feel better about ourselves.  So, KEEP ‘EM COMING!

That is all I have to say about that.

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Filed under Humor, Random Silliness, The 'Hood

Don’t Fence Me In

“The fence that makes good neighbors needs a gate to make good friends.” ~Unknown

We have officially completed the first full week of school.  SHWEW!   Life is back in full swing.  Homework, lessons, and early bed times…for all of us.

Party Pants is back in full swing as well.  That’s Emma’s code name, in case you’ve forgotten.  She is off at a sleepover tonight and so Clyn and I got to spend some time with our not-so-party-pants son.  We played cards and had breakfast for dinner…y’all know how we love that…Top it all off with a couple of episodes of Mythbusters and you’ve got yourself the perfect evening.

It is so disturbing when someone else’s kid gets injured at your home.  Our next door neighbors, sweet people, have 4 little boys, ages 7 and under.  The three older boys (7, 6 and 4 yrs old) often climb our shared fence, walk themselves into my back porch and let themselves in my back door.  We’ve been working on knocking skills with the 4 yr old with little success.  Usually, the older ones have sent him over to see if “Jake” can play.  These children LOVE Jacob.  He’ll go out in the backyard and suddenly you hear this unseen chorus of sweet little boy voices on the other side of the fence, calling…”Jake!  Jake!”  Bless his heart, Jacob will play with them sometimes, but he is 13 after all.  And though he isn’t your typical 13 year old, he doesn’t want to spend all his time entertaining children less than half his age.  Sometimes I have to rescue him from them.  Just this morning, as Jacob sat the kitchen table eating his breakfast, he says, “Mom, guess who is on the trampoline?”  Yes, it was the 4 year old.  Yes, it was 7:45 am.  He was just out there having a good old time.  This afternoon, Jacob and the three older boys were on the trampoline, “the tramp” as the boys call it, and mysteriously, the youngest (age 4) somehow ends up with blood gushing from the side of his head.  I did tell you it was disturbing.  Thankfully, he was not seriously hurt and no dash to the ER was necessary.  But still, I was more than just a little freaked out.  And I felt terrible, but, like I told Jacob, who immediately wanted to blame himself, it was an accident.  And I’m not going to pretend I didn’t see it coming.  These little boys are wide open, and yet so adorable.

It could be time to ban everyone but my own kids from “the tramp”.  At least if my own kids get hurt, I don’t have a potential lawsuit on my hands.

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Filed under Emma, The 'Hood