Category Archives: Friends

For when you don’t know what to say.

I have started, stopped, deleted, and restarted this post about 15 times. I’ve wanted to write, but my heart has felt so heavy and I just didn’t know what to say or if I should even say anything at all…not everyone wants their business put out on the internet, you know. But here it is.

The last two and a half weeks have felt like some kind of a weird whirlwind, a roller coaster, a strange dream…just insert whatever analogy you can dream up that applies to experiencing the heights of joy and the depths of sorrow in a matter of hours.

We had a beautiful Thanksgiving with family and then I went for a fun weekend of shopping in Atlanta with my sister-in-law and another friend a week after that. All of that falls into the joy category.

Then I got the text, at 7 o’clock on Sunday morning a week ago now. Call me when you get up—was all it said. Very unusual for my friend to text me at that time. I knew something was wrong.

I got up then, at 7, on the morning I was to return from my shopping trip. I called her. On the other end of the phone was my precious friend, my sister, my best friend for almost 30 years, telling me the devastating news that her sweet Daddy had passed away unexpectedly.

The sorrow.

I was dumbfounded—still am, really. Chatty girl that I am, I was at a loss for words. I did not know what to say. I sat there and wept for my friend, for her kids, for her mom, for myself and in my shock was only able to say to her, “I’m so, so sorry.” and “I love you.”

Somehow it just didn’t feel like enough. When you get news like this, there is always this inexplicable need to do something. To help carry your loved one’s grief in some way.

But do what?

In that moment, I could only try to imagine her pain and foggily try to process this information and then feebly try to convey my deep love for her and her family. But truly, all I really wanted to do was get in my car and go to her—two states away at the time—and hug her so tight. Fortunately, a couple of days later, I was able to do just that. Unfortunately, my time with her was so brief. Oh, but I am so grateful that I was able to go, even for a short time.

My heart is suddenly keenly aware of those who go through this season with sorrow and hurt and loss. You know, those things that you never really get over, but somehow learn to live with. And though I know that, as believers, we do not grieve for our loved ones as those who have no hope, grief is hard. Loss is devastatingly sad and painful. And grieving while at the same time trying to get back to the business of living can be elusive. We need each other’s help to do that. We need each other so much.

And so, when I don’t know what else to say or do, I sit, I weep, I hug, I text, I send a card. I try to make my friend smile. I wait to see if she wants to talk or cry or not talk at all.

I pray. And pray some more.

And I say “I’m so sorry” and “I love you.”

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NASB

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Filed under Faith, Family, Friends

Hot Tea, Warm Friendship. Day 15

On the heels of my tea lament of the other day, today I have to give a public shout out to my new friend, Coreyanne. She is the one who inspired me to get back on that liquid gold. She has come to the rescue! Not only did she tell me that she had the tea for me, but she also made me some and then delivered it to me this morning at the homeschool co-op, already sweetened and ready for consumption! And in an adorable little thermos, no less—see the photo. Cute, right? And all British and stuff to boot! Keep Calm, Carry On, and Drink Tea

Nectar, I tell you! Sweet, golden nectar. I owe you, girl!

Kind, thoughtful gestures, like Corey’s, are precious. And though it may seem like a small thing, it meant a lot to me.

I am so thankful for the people that God has so graciously placed in my life.

The one who has listened to me nearly every. single. morning. for the last 5 years during our routine morning phone call.

The ones at the homeschool co-op who teach my son.

The one who, when I was a tired, stressed out young mom with little ones, was further down the road of life and mentored me during a tough time.

The ones who meet me for coffee or tea and chat and chat and chat—and who don’t seem to be offended by my incessant chattiness. (Thanks for that, y’all!)

The one who is such an incredible prayer warrior and who laughs at the crazy stuff I say.

The ones whom you meet and right away, BOOM!, there is that Soul Sister connection.

The one who first said to me, so gently and lovingly, “Have you ever noticed….” about Jacob and then walked beside us as we went through the testing process, because she had lived it too, with her own son.

The one who, without fail, always has such a kind, encouraging word to say to me.

The one who knew me during the awkward high school years and how, since then, we have stayed in touch, however sporadically, and when we have the fleeting opportunity to reconnect, it’s as if we see each other every day.

The ones, new and old, who give so much—big and small—to me and my family.

These are my people! I count them all as blessings. Every day.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” ~Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NLT)

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Filed under 30 Days of Thankfulness, Friends

Happy Place

I have two words for y’all: Happy Place.

Two more: The Beach.

Yes, that’s right. The beach is my happy place. The place I have been fortunate to be for the last two days, thanks to some kind friends who shared their vacation home with us, minus Hubby, sadly, because he had to work.

View from the back porch. Folly Beach, 2012The place where I close my eyes and breathe in the salt air and with it, a sense of peace and calm. I breathe out any worries or cares. Everything  that seemed stressful before just seems to fall away. I look around and I see God’s beautiful work in the pelicans as they dive bomb into the water looking for that elusive meal. I hear the surf calling to me, “Shhh, shhh”, inviting me to sit back and enjoy.

And I do.

I love to sit there on the beach, sipping a cold drink, laughing with friends and watching the kids play. Watching the people go by. Listening to the gulls calling “feed us, feed us”. Cheering the kids on as they construct their masterpiece in the sand. And reading a few words in the book I’ve been trying to finish for three weeks.

There is no other better vacation spot as far as I am concerned. It never gets old to me. I don’t mind the sand and how it sticks to the sunscreen after you’ve applied it. I don’t mind all the work involved in packing every possible thing you might remotely need, just in case. I don’t mind all the dirty laundry it produces. I don’t even mind being separated from my internet!

It is all worth the trouble.

Even the sunburn.

“The cure for everything is salt water—sweat, tears, or the sea.” ~Isak Dinesen

“Your throne was established long ago;
you are from all eternity. The seas have lifted up, Lord,
the seas have lifted up their voice;
the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.
Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
mightier than the breakers of the sea—
the Lord on high is mighty.” ~Psalm 93:2-4 NIV

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Filed under Day to Day, Friends