I’ve spent the last four days unplugged. And it was not easy.
This was not planned. I took my laptop on our little getaway, thinking I would do some writing. Or work on school stuff. Or at the very least keep up to date with Facebook and Twitter. And whatever other earth shattering, up-to-the-minute and not-to-be-missed details were going on in the world!
Nope. Not happening. The expected internet connection was out of commission.
You should also know that I am the proud owner of a non-smart phone, just your basic talk and text, since I am too much of a cheapskate to pay for a data plan. So there was no web that way.
I just had to “rough it”—sad, right? Sad that I consider no internet connection roughing it.
Once I realized that I would not be able to check Twitter every 10, okay, every 5, minutes, I took a deep breath and threw my hands up in surrender.
I enjoyed the time with my family, at my Happy Place—the beach. We were with extended family that we only see about twice a year, which was great. My hubby and kids jet skied for the first time and had a blast and I had a blast watching them! It was a wonderful time…except for when it wasn’t…when I saw how short-tempered and easily irritated I can be.
Being unplugged allowed me to be free of distractions, the distractions which apparently usually distract me from how very unloving and impatient I can be at times.
Oh, it’s true, and it’s not pretty. It’s a harsh reality for me, the friendly, chatty gal that most people get to experience. I will often save the ugliest part of myself for my husband. I will spare you all the gory details, but trust me when I say, a big old helping of “bless his heart” is in order!
Why do I do that?
I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 13, often read at weddings and referred to as The Love Chapter. Here it is, in part:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Okay, if love is patient and kind, then I am not love. If love is not proud, then I am not love. Not self-seeking? Not easily angered? It could easily also say, love is not a control freak, not a fun-sucker, not moody…
Wow. I am failing miserably at this love thing, which I have seemingly been working at for a really long time.
I whisper a prayer: God, help me.
(Y’all ever send those prayers up? The “God, help me” prayers? When you just don’t know what else to say?)
Here’s what I know:
Actions without love are empty.
Love without action is a gyp.
Here’s what else, I am not love. Apart from God, who is love, I can love no one. God, help me to get it right. Because, like this song (and scripture) says, without love, I am bankrupt: