Fun Facts About Forty 2.0

Today, a little lighter fare, after quite a few heavy posts.

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.  We grow old by deserting our ideals.  Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”  ~Samuel Ullman

In order to broaden your educational horizons, I have gathered a few more interesting facts about turning forty…which happened, oh, almost 3 years ago. So, I’ve had some time to make some additional observations.

Perhaps you can identify?

Recently, I’ve noticed I’m losing some hair. Okay, so I’m afraid I am going bald. There seems to be so much shed when I wash it, condition it, and then comb it after I shower, that I can’t see how I am going to have any left by the time I am 44. No, I have not recently given birth. But I did have quite the post partum hair loss, but those days ended 14 years ago.

It is a mystery.

But I am considering getting the info from Hair Club for Men just in case. Cause I have seen a few women in their most recent commercials; I may not be such an anomaly after all. Or maybe I’ll get me some of that spray on hair. Whichever. Oh, yeah, and I am planning to take out some stock in Drano—the new kind with the snake-y thing attached. My drain is not happy with me!

Additionally, I fear that the vertical thing between my eyeballs which I once referred to, ever so daintily, as a frown line, can now easily be called a crater, a crevice, or, let’s be honest here—a crack in the tectonic plates of my face. I don’t think there is enough spackle at my local Lowe’s to get the job done. There are also a couple of parentheticals on my face that are deepening even as I type.

My “bingo wings” are still in full force…maybe even fuller force, if that is possible. Bingo wings? This term, was coined (as far as I know) by my BFF’s daughter (AKA my faux niece, for she does call me Aunt Jo). The term “bingo wings” describes that flabulous flank of saggy skin on the backside of your biceps which, when you score a BINGO! and you wave your arm in the air to acknowledge your win, undulates like a bird’s wing a-flapping in the breeze. If this describes you, then, BAM!! you’ve got yourself a bingo wing! Maybe two! I reckon it’s nothing a few thousand triceps dips couldn’t cure. Triceps dips, yeah, right. Not. happening.

I am also noticing some of those age spots. You know the ones they used to advertise that cream for back in the day? I’ve got a couple on my face. Lots on my hands and arms. Maybe pretty soon, I’ll just be one big ole age spot and no one will notice any of them. Here’s hoping.

What makes it all even more fun is having a daughter with a hilarious sense of humor who loves to take candid pictures of me at the most inopportune times and then post them to Facebook. I try to get the camera and delete them, but sometimes I’m just not fast enough. Gotta love that kid!

Enjoy the montage courtesy of Emma, my personal paparazza. Go ahead, have a laugh at my expense. It’s okay. It will be you one day, when you have your own personal photog documenting your aging progress. Until then, I’ll keep you posted on my journey toward aging gracefully.

Oh, who am I kidding? I’m going kicking and screaming. My body may wrinkle, but my soul never will! Can’t wait to see what 45 brings!

058Fall '11 107015019Emma's iPod pics 008Emma's iPod pics 784

And for all my fellow wrinkled ladies, here is the very funny Anita Renfroe.

For all my fellow wrinkled ladies.


Filed under Day to Day, Humor, Random Silliness

24 responses to “Fun Facts About Forty 2.0

  1. Pingback: This week’s top ten. | red van ramblings

  2. Kim

    That was funny! I turned the big 4-0 in December and I actually can’t wait. I think it’s going to be fantastic. I am working with quite a few 20 somethings right now and I just feel bad for them. : ) Dating troubles and apt issues. I am happy where I’m at. . . wrinkles, hair loss, sags and all. Thanks for linking up on Throwback Thursday! Glad to have found your blog. Kim

    • I will be 44 tomorrow. Miraculously, I have not gone {completely} bald since I wrote this post! LOL! There are some really fabulous things about being in the 40s, such as the things you mentioned! The most valuable thing being the wisdom that comes with the life experience, that you just don’t have in your 20s and 30s. Thanks so much for coming by and commenting!

  3. Leckieville

    Very funny! I love your sense of humor. Nice blog as always.

  4. I love that quote at the beginning. And the video was hilarious! I can see that vertical line starting already and I’m only 34…ugh. (TALU)

    • Yep, mine’s been forming at LEAST since I was 34…probably before! Anita Renfroe is one hilarious lady. You should check her out on youTube. Thanks so much for stopping by, Azara!

  5. Veronica Roth

    Love it! Wait till you get 10 more years on 40 and decide to have two feet of hair! Long hair down the drain pipe looks so much worse that short hair! But I still look like I’m wearing Darth Vader’s helmet hair some days! Go figure. 🙂 (visiting from TALU, so nice to visit lovely new people.)

    • Oh my!! LOL.This was the first time I linked up with TALU and you are right….SO many lovely new people and wonderferul blogs! Thanks so much for visiting, Veronica! 🙂

  6. OMG! It’s not just me with the hair thing?! I have really thick full hair, but I swear I could knit a sweater with what I love every week. I don’t know how I’m not bald. Where does it all come from?!?!?!?! I actually had to break down and get a fine-mesh strainer to put in my tub drain so I can do a catch-and-release after every shower!

    As for the spots, I’m noticing a few here and there myself now. Having grown up with a birth mark on my face, I’m hoping eventually, they will all come together and I’ll just look like I have a nice tan. 😉

  7. Oh, just you wait! The fun is just beginning. Maybe I’ll write something about turning . . . I can’t even bring myself to say the number! TALU

  8. Stopping by from TALU and laughing with you!! My son does the same thing with the camera phone. I’ve found more new wrinkles thanks to him!

  9. I did NOT know about the hair-losing thing postpartum… yet another reason to terrify me away from procreating! Great things to look forward to 😉
    TALU visitor!

  10. AHHH! So much to look forward to! (Well, not that far forward, I’m afraid…) My husband used to pull the “wait until you’re thirty” routine, and now he does the “wait until you’re forty”…he has almost a decade on me, so it’s always great to see what lies ahead. Or not. I finally stopped losing my hair postpartum…it took almost a year! Thanks for making me laugh today! Hopped over from TALU!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Stephanie! Glad I could give you a laugh at my expense. I mean, we can’t take ourselves too seriously, right?? Heading to your blog to check it out!

  11. Hahahaha! If only all of that over-40 new hair growing all over my chin and jaw could be plucked and implanted on the top of my head. Just stay away from the spray-on hair!
    Have you ever seen The Sweetest Thing? Hilarious scene of Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz showing off their bingo wings. (I love that phrase your daughter’s friend gave them.)
    And to end with Anita…awesome. So funny. I had never seen that song of hers.

    • Did you read part one of this? Click on the link near the beginning of the post…I discuss there the EXTRA hair that grows between my eyebrows and hairline…perhaps that will eventually grow up far enough to compensate for the aforementioned hair loss! LOL! Anyway, no, I have NOT seen that movie, but I will definitely make a point to now! And ANITA is the bomb-diggity. We love her. PS–I just went back read aloud to my two kids the posts from your blog that cracked me up so today…more hilarity!

  12. DMcCormick

    hee hee hee – love it. And I have all the things you mentioned. It totally sucks. lol (TALU)

  13. Funny! I’ve got 5 years ’til forty, but I already got something to look forward to, Grandma told me my psoriasis will go away when I turn 80! Wahoo! TALU

I always love hearing from you! :-)

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