I can only hope this post comes off as anything close to coherent. I am so sleep deprived right now that my eyes are beginning to cross, and drool is beginning to dribble down my chin. And I still need to go prepare some dinner for my people…Danger, Will Robinson…I am sure I have that glassed-over look of a mother of a newborn colicky bundle of joy who is only sleeping 3 hours a night.
All because of Twitter.
Once again I have been taken hostage by another social media thingy. Oh, it started out innocently enough.
First, it was blogging. Then, it was MySpace. (Does anybody even remember MySpace?) Then a little community called CafeMom looked interesting and I got all immersed in that. Then, it was Facebook. Hello, Facebook, so long, MySpace and CafeMom!
Oh my, that Facebook is addictive. The reconnection with old friends. Keeping out of town family members up on what is going on with the kids. And the games. Don’t get me started on the games. Bejeweled. Wetopia. Words With Friends. Yeah, I’ve done it all. All except Farmville. I managed to stand my ground there. <high five>
I mean, I am not a total idiot; I knew about Twitter. Tweets. The Twitterverse. But I felt like I had to maintain some sort of self control. I just could not do one. more. social. media. thing. I refused.
Until last night. Sigh.
Darn you, peer pressure! <shakes fist angrily>
A friend of my sweet friend Sarah had tweeted about my last post (thank you, Nick) and she (via Facebook, of course!) informed me that I needed to join Twitter. I held my ground and continued to stay strong. She used the fact that my brothers are both on Twitter against me. She even spouted off about how Twitter is about relationships with people. Oh, you sneaky Sarah! And this was not the first time she had put the Twitter bug in my ear.
She was starting to wear me down.
Then, curiously, I ventured over to look at the thing—only to discover that, WHAT?, my Emma has a Twitter account? What the heck??!
I was seriously failing in my maternal stalking duties!
That sealed it.
Keeping in mind that it was already around 9 PM or after, and also keeping in mind my psycho-perfectionistic need to learn it all…now, I joined the Twitterverse. I know I am crazy and I don’t need one more thing, but dang if I am going to have anyone accusing me of not stalking my child properly! I mean, it is just good parenting, y’all. I give parental stalking tips for free, just in case there is a need out there. I’m here for you. #stalkingparentsunite
So, my sweet Sarah and all her tweeps guided me through all the retweeting and hashtags and replying. She had her friends follow me and make me feel welcome in that strange new world.
Oh, and the first person I followed: my own child. Uh-huh. You know that’s right. Let me say here that Emma gives me no real reason to stalk her. My stalking is only of a preemptive nature. Most of her tweets were Hunger Games or Harry Potter related. Truly harmless stuff. I don’t want y’all misled about my baby girl! #innocentuntilprovenguilty
I am ashamed to tell y’all what time I went to bed. Suffice it to say that I haven’t been up that late since the college clubbing days when we used to shut down Shooters in Raleigh, NC. If you were there with me, then you know. Heeeyy, represent! #iamtoooldforthis