The Mother Lode

Emma-second row from top, third from leftAnother winter band concert has passed us by. Wonderful, as usual, but with a different flavor this year.

I like to call it “Baby Stank.”

I realize that, technically, Baby Stank is not a flavor, but an aroma. A massive one. One they should harness and use in the next biological warfare weapon. Oh, yeah, you could wipe out an entire city with that funk, I do believe! <shiver>

On the row below Hubby and me in the very crowded gym, a family was seated, holding an oh-so-cute little boy, probably less than a year old. He was really cute, but wait…

What the…

What’s that smell??!

Oh, you mean that green cloud hovering over our heads?

Um, yeah. That would be it.

It was unmistakable.

It was <Dun, Dun, Dun!> Baby Stank.

As we fanned our programs in the hopes of steering said cloud away, we burst out laughing and reminisced about the good old days. The days when your precious one has laid the mother lode in his pants and you have left the diaper bag in the car. Which, by the way, you had to park a mile away. But you would only be gone 45 minutes, right?

Trust me, honey, that is time enough for your child to lay a load the size of Mt. Rushmore in his pants. And time enough for it to start fermenting…and disseminating its bouquet to the immediate surroundings.

Every couple of minutes, they would shift said baby, from Mama, to Daddy, to Grandpaw and the scent would waft anew. Or then, they might start bouncing him in time to the lovely music the band was playing. Surely that poo smell was about to knock them out too? Right? Could they possibly be immune?? Somehow, they managed to pretend that nothing was happening. <shakes head in disbelief>

But we were all on to them.

At one point, the lady seated next to me gave me a look. Cocked head. Raised eyebrows. Wide eyes. Yes, she had smelled it too. And so had her daughter next to her, who had asked her mother, with a confused look, “What is happening? Is something happening??!”

There was simply no escape.

So, between fits of uncontrollable, stifled laughter, we endured, er, enjoyed the concert and thanked God we no longer had children in diapers.


Filed under Kids, Music, Random Silliness

13 responses to “The Mother Lode

  1. OK, I can understand their not wanting to miss out on the concert, but how rude!! One of them could have at least stepped to a less crowded spot with the baby until it was over … the concert that is, not the nuclear meltdown. I don’t have kids, but I used to take care of a friend’s six kids when four of them were still in diapers, so I have definitely had my share of being buried in baby stank! P ewwwww!! 😉

    • I kept wondering the same thing…there were plenty of other places they could have gone to stand AWAY from the majority of folks and still had an excellent view of the concert…oh well!! LOL Made for good blog fodder, anyway! Ha!

  2. That is awesome…a load the size of Mt Rushmore! I still have one in diapers, but it is funny reading about someone else’s! 🙂 TALU

  3. If I were that mom, I would have started talking to my baby, but really to the crowd, about how mean it was of him to stink up the place when I can’t leave/don’t have diaper. I’ve been there so many times, I can smell it from here. I would have been laughing right along with you.

    • It was hilarious. What was really funny was the lady sitting next to me and her reaction. We were laughing so hard! I could hardly concentrate on the concert.

  4. Man that happened to me once. We were at CHURCH! Imagine my look when I discovered I didn’t have another diaper. My son was a big boy. While at the age of a diaper wearing child he looked like he should be potty trained. I had to dump the load in the toilet and put the baby stank diaper back on. YUCK!!! The ride home was like the load was still in it. Woooooo, been there survived that!

    • Oh my!! That is a funny story! I think we have ALL been there, done that at some point and I am just thankful that I am no longer in that life stage. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. LOL – oh my. You would think the parents would go stand by the door, or at least get away from the crowded stands, just as a courtesy to others. (TALU)

  6. Goodness! I think we’ve all been in that situation, but let me tell you this–if my mother had been there, it would not have flown. Oh no. My mom is the MacGyver of baby poo situations. She would have whisked the baby away and returned with it wearing feminine hygiene products. Or, she would have made me hike a mile back to the car and miss the entire concert. That’s just how she rolls. I mean, if it had been my stinky baby. Someone else’s and she would have just made faces all night.

  7. Ha ha! That is awesome. I have been there–both sides!

I always love hearing from you! :-)

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