Ant Repellent, The Crazies, and Mindless TV

“Oh, woman, woman! When to ill thy mind is bent, all Hell contains no fouler fiend” ~Homer

Here’s a tip for ya…when you have a major ant invasion, get that pepper shaker out and shake, shake, shake!  We were about to be overrun and what do you know?  Sometimes tips you find on the internet work!  Haven’t seen any ants in 4 days. Score!

Moving on.

How sick is it that we love to watch that show Wipeout around my house?  It seems so wrong to find it so hilarious.  But we do.  We sit around as a family (that has to be a redemptive quality, right?) and laugh our fool heads off.  Mostly we enjoy the replays of the wipeouts and hearing the poor person’s moan/scream over and over and over.  Question:  Why has no one suffered irreversible brain damage or, I don’t know…a spinal cord injury???  Or even a facial laceration at the very least?  We just can’t. stop. watching.  Oy.

School is in full force.  Emma is in the throes of her first big project.  She is making a movie trailer for her English class based a book she read this summer (The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan).  She seems to be having fun with it so far.  She has employed her BFF (Beth), Jacob and even her daddy to participate.  It should be fun (and funny). Jacob and I toil away (happily!).  The routine seemed to come back to us easily.  This year I am,er, I mean, we are, learning Geometry, Biology, World Lit, World History, Health, and Spanish.  He is also participating in Band again this year and an Engineering class at the homeschool co-op.  It isn’t quite all so scary to me as it was last year.  Jacob is still happy being homeschooled and for that, I am thankful.

I apologize in advance to my male readers for this next bit…but I confess I am fighting off the crazies of  my peri-menopausal early 40s.  No, really.  There is about a week out of every month where I feel like my real self has been hijacked by some alien force that comes only to wreak havoc in the lives of my family.  I feel downright mean…and I can’t stop myself!!  My sweet hubby has always been known for asking rhetorical questions for example, “Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean?” (As he is looking INTO the dishwasher) or “Is there any more milk?”  (As he is looking in the fridge at the milk container with a millimeter of milk left in it and no other milk jugs in sight.)  When he does stuff like that, when I am in the Crazy Week, my Crazy voice comes out (think Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters) and says (loudly) “DO YOU SEE ANY MORE MILK IN THE FRIDGE??!” “DO YOU SEE ANY SCHMUTZ ON THE DISHWASHER DOOR??!”.  Clearly, a schmutz-free dishwasher indicates clean dishes.  Am I wrong, ladies?  I can’t control it.  It’s like I’m possessed.  Normally, I will respond similarly, just in a non-alien tone.  Poor Clyn, he never knows if he’s getting Crazy Sigourney or my normally sweet self! 😉  It has gotten progressively worse over the last few years.  After about a week of the attack of the crazies, which, I might add, are also accompanied by feeling like I am going to cry at the drop of a hat, I sense a switch magically trip somewhere in my brain, and I am keenly aware that the Crazies have gone and Aunt Flo will soon arrive and then I will be back to normal for the next 21-24 days.  If  Minnie (menopause) does not come on, I will probably have to find myself some medication in order to avoid being  one of those freakish news stories you hear about on TV.  Or maybe I should just try to get on Wipeout and get my head whacked a few times.  Maybe that would help.


Filed under Day to Day, Family, Kids, Womanhood

7 responses to “Ant Repellent, The Crazies, and Mindless TV

  1. Pingback: I am stuck on band-aids… | red van ramblings

  2. Elizabeth

    my favorite question: Is anything wrong honey????? OR Where’s my wallet. I think we have that one about nipped in the bud. (picture Rosemary’s baby and a 30 min rant about how I didn’t carry his wallet …yada yada. Your in good company dear mini – friend!

  3. Love it! Pepper for ants? Genius. Sigourney Weaver? Awesome. Your new blog? Hilarious, as usual. Even when you’re fighting off the crazies.

  4. Oh, Joell, I have MISSED your posts! You are positively wonderful! And thank you for all of your blog comments of late. I feel like my prodigal sister has returned! (And yes, I know… I’ve been prodigal, too… But I’m GONNA call.) LOVE YOU!!

I always love hearing from you! :-)

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