Fun Facts About Forty

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”  ~Chili Davis

It has arrived.  The day upon which I embark on a little adventure I like to call

“Holy Crap I’m Forty”. 

Yep.

Seriously, it is a very difficult concept for me to wrap my brain around.  How can this be?  Why, just last week, I was 21, right?? Or so it seemed.

Somebody once said forty is the new 30. Frankly, 30 kinda freaked me out, so I’m gonna say that 40 is the new 29.  Call it denial if you would like.  I can be okay with that.

Just roll with me here.

I wish I could flail my arms in the air and say “Yippee, I’m 40!”  But honestly, at this point in time, the main thing I’m feeling is, well, pretty flabulous.  And if I flailed my flabulous arms, anyone in my vicinity might be seriously injured, so we’ll just skip that!  I am very out of shape.  I’m moderately stressed. And by golly, the economy is nothing, if not uncertain.  So what’s a girl, er, middle-aged woman, to do?

Here are some things I’ve noticed of late:

  • Recently, I have found some disturbingly random hairs growing inappropriately on my forehead…that is to say, somewhere in the space above my eyebrows and below my hairline, I’m having to pluck.  Something’s just wrong about that.  Thank God for tweezers is all I can say.
  • Things creak when I get out of bed or walk up the stairs.  Sadly, it is neither the floor nor the stairs which is creaking.
  • I don’t remember the last time the lady at the grocery store carded me when I came through the line with my bottle of Pinot Grigio.
  • I say a lot of things my mom used to say to me that I swore I’d never say. (i.e., “Because I said so”,  “I’m not every one else’s mom”)
  • I won’t give you the details, but my “cycle” has begun to change significantly.  I even think I had a hot flash yesterday.  Not kidding.
  • I have to break out the 1.00 magnifiers occasionally and keep a pair in my purse and by my bed.

On the other hand, there are some things, that come along with being in your teens, 20s and 30s, that I’d just as soon not have to endure again:

  • Making reallllllly dumb decisions due to being young and naive
  • Dating
  • Planning a wedding…boy, would I do A LOT of things differently (I’d keep the same sweet guy though!)
  • Childbirth (Adore my precious ones, but wouldn’t want to do it again)
  • Learning how to deal with passive aggressive people
  • Learning that people are always going to judge you
  • Learning that people are always going to give you unsolicited advice
  • Learning to ignore the aforementioned judging and advising

There is a lot to be said for turning forty.  And the flabulousness could, with a lot, and I do mean a lot, of work, be turned into fabulousness.  Not that I am not, even at this moment, simultaneously flabulous AND fabulous. BUT, I would perhaps feel more fabulous if I were less flabulous…but, I digress…

Happy Birthday to Me!  I’m facing the big 4-0 head on!  Now let’s eat some cake, cause y’all know how I love me some cake!

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6 Comments

Filed under Day to Day, Humor, Random Silliness

6 responses to “Fun Facts About Forty

  1. Pingback: Fun Facts About Forty 2.0 | red van ramblings

  2. Unknown

    Joell.. this was funny. I have errant hairs as well as other things I didn\’t have or do a few years ago. It\’s hilarious! Turning 40 is a blessing though, and it brings with it loads of wisdom. I wouldn\’t trade that for anything… not even washboard abs!

  3. Wahzat

    You had me screaming with laughter!!! A little bit nervously I have to admit… seeing that this blog will be about me next year! HAppy Belated birthday!! Hope you had a great day and I have heard the 40\’s for women is the new 20!

  4. Tiffany

    Girl… you are great no matter what your age! Age is only a number right? 🙂 Hope you guys are still having warm weather. It\’s beginning to get cold here and I hate it!Big Hugs – Tiff

  5. Toni

    If you were any more fabulous, it\’d be down right scary. And unfair to the rest of the world. Hope you had a great birthday–got any leftover cake?

  6. Unknown

    Girl, you are more than fabulous! I want to be just like you when I grow up! 😀 Happy Birthday, Jo Mama!

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