Would you like fries with that, Superman?

“Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.”  ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

A funny thing happened Friday morning on the way to…wait, I wasn’t on the way to anywhere…I was just sitting at my desk, minding my own business (1st mistake), talking on the cellie (2nd mistake) to my dear friend Lisa.  Just chatting away about who knows what. When all of a sudden, I happened to swivel around in my swivelly desk chair only to see my neighbor’s 4 year old son standing there.  RIGHT there.  Looking at me.  In his Superman PJ’s no less…complete with cape.  HOLY COW…scared the living daylights out of me!!!  I let out a little scream and my friend must have thought something terrible had happened.  I mean, technically it WAS a home invasion, I suppose.  I was just a tad freaked out…reasonably so, doncha think?  I mean, I realize he is 4 and all, but dang!  He did TOTALLY sneak up on me.  He’s lucky I didn’t go all “MADEA” on him!  Don’t people teach their children to KNOCK???

Anyway that little face looked up at me and said, “Can you get Peanut?” (Peanut Butter is the name of their roving orange tabby kitty who likes to jump the fence and torture my Jiffy.)  I said, “Does your mama know where you are?”  He said, “I need you to get Peanut back for me.”  I realized that he was distressed because Peanut was in our yard.  So I tell him that Peanut comes to visit us from time to time and I was sure he’d jump the fence back into their yard whenever he got good and ready.  And then I escorted the young caped crusader out the back door, from whence he came. <That kid is so stinkin’ cute>  As we exited the back door, I heard his mama hollering for him to get himself back home.  I watched him scale the fence and then I walked back in the back door.  And promptly locked it behind me.  I guess that’ll teach me to leave the back door unlocked!

In other news…last night I was lying in bed watching the 11 o’clock news when I hear this story…

A Florida woman, unhappy with her drive-thru experience, calls 911, not once, but THREE TIMES, to report that the McDonald’s restaurant is out of CHICKEN NUGGETS <Seriously???>, would not give her a refund and <oh the horror!> wants to give her a substitute meal.  {I mean, who among us hasn’t had a fast food emergency?? But did WE call 911?  Noooooooo. We keep our craziness in check!}  As a result, the Po-Po were called and the woman was issued a citation for misuse of 911 services.

I don’t make this stuff up, people!!  I could NOT stop laughing.  Hubby, who was mostly asleep, kept asking me what was so funny. I was trying to tell him, but was unable due to all my snorting and crying.   He then informed me that I needed to be quiet and go to sleep.  It was so ridiculous, I just couldn’t collect myself.

What have we learned here, my friends???

A. News stations are desperate for “news” apparently.

B. The word “emergency” is a relative term.

C. People are Kay – Ray – Zay!!!!

and

D. These are the very stories that help us all feel better about ourselves.  So, KEEP ‘EM COMING!

That is all I have to say about that.

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3 Comments

Filed under Humor, Random Silliness, The 'Hood

3 responses to “Would you like fries with that, Superman?

  1. Pingback: Broken Fences | red van ramblings

  2. Toni

    Freakin\’ hilarious! I can\’t believe that 4 year old was in your house!!!! I can\’t believe that kid\’s parents never taught him it ain\’t right to into other people houses w/out permission from…the people or their parents! And the 911 call–was she high? I mean maybe she was having a real bad snack attack.

  3. Margaret

    I just loved your pics. yor granny looks real good for ninety,hope i look that good at her age!I also love E.R and thought the same but all good things must end ,just don\’t kill them off,just send them away it\’s easyer to except lol.Hugs Margaret

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