Confirmation of my “mother of the year” status

May I have the envelope please?  And the award goes to…


Yesterday morning, I’ve just left the gym.  It’s 11:30 am.  I’m about to head to my WW meeting and I’m chatting with my sweet friend Lisa on the cell.  I get a “beep” on my phone.  It’s Emma’s school. 

So I tell my friend that it’s the school calling and she says “oh no!”…because she knows that when it’s the school calling, it’s usually Jacob’s school and there’s some sort of “issue”…and I quickly say, “it’s Emma’s school” and she says “oh!”

I basically hang up on her.  Whoops. Sorry bout that.

I answer.  This very nice gal says to me, “Today was an early release day and I have Emma here in the office waiting to be picked up.”  Panicked, I say, “WHAT???  I had NO IDEA!”

Early Release:  A phenomenon I have never experienced anywhere else. Neither in my own school career nor those of my kids.  The district says…let’s let the elementary school kids out at 11 am, oh, let’s say, twice a month, just “because”. 

Whatever happened to just having a regular old teacher workday occasionally??!

I am usually very on top of these things.  I mean, you might not have any underwear because the laundry is backed up, but I’m going to be where I need to be to pick up my kids. 

But apparently not this time.

This one somehow got by me. 

I don’t know how, but it did. 

I say to the lady from school, “I’ll be there in 10 minutes!”

In my mind I was picturing a very forlorn Emma sitting all alone in a dark office.  A tear falling from her eye.  Everything looking very gray and dingy.  This was my guilty vision.

Very Charles Dickens, no? 

Well, sometimes my imagination does get carried away.

No, she was sitting there, with several kids, whose parents also were apparently oblivious to the early release event, and when I came in the office, she hopped up and gave me a hug.

Fortunately for me, I have a very forgiving daughter. 

Do you think the fact that I had a parent-teacher conference scheduled at 2 PM yesterday (duh, before the end of the regular school day) should have been a bit of a red flag??  <insert raised eyebrow here>  Or the fact that Emma and I even TALKED about said conference as we pulled into the school parking lot yesterday morning?  No.  No red flag is enough for me, honey.  It would have to be a giant fire breathing dragon standing in the middle of the road wearing one of those sandwich board advertisement signs saying “It’s early release day, you dork” or something really ridiculous like that.

Yeah.  That might work. 



Filed under Humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Confirmation of my “mother of the year” status

  1. Toni

    ROLMAO that is sooooo something I would do.

  2. Bill

    Ha!  That\’s nothing.  I just have my kids come home from school and have the alarm on so when they get home without me there the police come.I love when that happens.

  3. Michelle

    That is too perfect!!
    Sounds completely like something I would end up doing.  Did she at least get ice cream for her "heartache"?  That\’s the card my kids would play…"you forgot about us so now we get a treat like ice cream!!!"

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