What goes around comes around…

It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.  ~Mae West


So y’all took the brunt of my moaning about the SC DMV and their wacky ways.  Well, here’s what I get for all my whining and complaining.  A ticket.

Yes, I know all y’all thought I was perfect in every way.  I really hate to ruin the illusion, but I can’t let it go on. The truth always comes out.

It was about to be THE perfect day.  I had scheduled a massage and a facial…an early anniversary present to myself.  (18 years, thank you very much!)  Thanks, Sweetie! 

I haven’t had a massage in over a year and can’t remember when I’d had a facial, so I took the liberty of scheduling them.  I was going to enjoy them, then run a couple of errands and then go have a bite of lunch while reading my current installment of the Outlander series (The Fiery Cross…it’s really good!) and just relax.  I guess I relaxed too much.

After my FABULOUS spa moment, and I do mean fabulous.  I was like a wet noodle, y’all!  I went by the post office to mail my nephew a belated birthday gift and then was making a quick trip to Target (properly pronounced Tar-zhay…aka the French department store, also kin to Jay Say Pen-yay.)  The area around Tar-zhay is crazy busy and the stop light in front of it, where you must make a left, takes FOREVER.  My light was green.  I was edging closer to the light and it turned yellow.  I did not want to sit at said intersection for 15 more minutes.  I can make it, I thought, as it turns a slight shade of orange.  WHEW!  Made it.

Errrr, maybe not.  DANG.  I was busted.  Me and my Iowa driver’s license and my Iowa license plates. 

I was hanging my head and those blue lights were just a-going.  I slowed to a stop and began to fumble shakily in my purse for the license and the glove box for registration and insurance.  “Sergeant P” (SP) greets me (ME) at my window.

SP:  Ma’am, I stopped you because you failed to stop at the red light.

ME: Yes sir.

SP: Is there a reason for that?

ME: Not a good one, no.

SP: (slightly smirks) May I see your license, registration and proof of insurance please?

I hand it all over.

SP: Ma’am, is this your current address?

ME: No sir, we just moved here recently. (I give him current address)

SP: How recently?

ME: Um, August–mid-August.

SP:  Is there any reason you haven’t gotten a South Carolina driver’s licence yet?

ME: (HUGE mental sigh here) Yes sir, there is.  (Kinda whiney) They make it so hard here.  I’ve had to send off for my birth certificate.

SP: I understand that ma’am.  When do you expect to receive that?

ME: Well, I actually got it yesterday and I haven’t had the chance to go over there yet. (because I had my SPA day today! DUH!)

SP: I’ll be right back.

SP goes to his car and proceeds to stay there for oh, about 15 minutes…the 15 minutes I SHOULD have spent waiting patiently at the stop light. SIGH.  I’m sitting there feeling terrible and thinking, how long does it take to write a stinking ticket??  I mean, SP was nice and all, but he wasn’t letting me off the hook.  I just had a feeling.  I’m sitting there thinking, THIS is what I get for moaning and complaining about the SC DMV.

15 minutes later…

SP:  Ma’am I didn’t write you a ticket for failing to stop at a red light, which would be 4 points (against my insurance which is SKY high in SC).  I wrote it instead for “Inattentive operation” which is 0 points. (SILVER LINING)

ME: WOW! Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. 

SP:  I could have also ticketed you for not having a South Carolina license, but I understand that it isn’t as easy as it used to be.  But I suggest you go ahead and get that taken care of.

ME:  I want you to know that I DID try to get my license.  Twice.  I really did try.  But let me ask you this, why is it so hard here?  I’ve been licensed in other states and it’s never been this much of a problem to get an updated license.

SP: Well, it’s not just here.  It’s pretty much everywhere now.  Homeland security…blah blah blah…since 9/11…blah blah blah…illegal immigrants…blah blah blah…

(I’m knowing I got my license in Iowa an entire year after 9/11, with NO problems, but I’m keeping my mouth shut…looking a gift horse in the mouth and all…)

ME: I understand. (not really, but…)

SP: (presenting me with my present) Your court date…blah blah blah…if you fail to appear…blah blah blah…pay at municipal…blah blah blah…Drive carefully and have a nice day, ma’am.

ME: Thank you.

So much for my happy relaxing day.  That’s what you get for being whiney and complainey and moaney about something over which you have ZERO control.  Payback.  Literally.

CHA CHING.  That’ll be $155.00, please.  On TOP of that $56.95 I just spent on that fancy new birth certificate.

It could have been worse.

I love my new town.


Filed under Humor, Rants

5 responses to “What goes around comes around…

  1. Cindy

    I hate how they make you sit there FOR. EVER. while everyone drives by smirking cuz you\’re getting a ticket and they\’re not.
    P.S. I invited you to my friends list weeks ago … accept already.

  2. barnyardmama

    It would have ben WAY worse if you\’d gotten that four-point ticket–talk about expensive!!!!  There is definitely an upside to this story.
    And you got a massage!  Life can\’t be too bad.

  3. Jim

    Sorry to hear about your ticket.  At least you had a good day at the SPA.  Right?

  4. Aimee

    lol…althought it\’s eally not funny…it is cute enough to make you giggle…sorry that spa day got a little less relaxing…
    *~* :o) if you don\’t have a smile to give… :o) I will give you one of mine… :o) *~*

  5. Bill

    I\’m convinced that calling them "sir" will give you the best chance of getting out of a ticket.  It\’s worked the past two times I\’ve been stopped.  And I believe if you have a passport, you can use that in lieu of a birth certificate (from http://www.scdmvonline.com/DMVNew/forms/MV-93.pdf).  That was a lot easier for me than trying to dig up an "official" birth certificate.But it\’s always good when you don\’t get any points 🙂

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