Licensed to Drive?

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”  ~Author Unknown


Does anybody know the going rate for a certified birth certificate from the District of Columbia??  I do.  $56.95.  CHA-CHING

I am flabbergasted at how difficult these people here in SC make it to get a driver’s licence.  They want 14 pieces of documentation and the blood of your first born child.  I’m not joking.  I’m no idiot–I’d “heard” how they operated here, so I gathered up all the prescribed paperwork before I went over there the first time.  But no.  Once isn’t enough to visit the SC DMV.  And I am usually the kind of person who takes into consideration the fact that the person I am dealing with is just the messenger.  Just doing their job.  Usually I can remain calm and collected and give the benefit of the doubt. But not this time.

Twice.  Twice I’ve been to that DMV office.  That DMV office which is 35 minutes away from my house.  Twice, they don’t like the birth certificate I present them–two different ones.  They say they aren’t good enough.  Hello!  Nevermind I have 13 other pieces of documentation that confirm who I am.  My marriage license.  My social security card.  My closing documents from the purchase of our home.  My electric bill.  My water bill.  My bank statement.  Oh yeah, and my OLD driver’s licence.


I am just completely blown away.  What do they want from me?!  Are they trying to make my head explode?!  It is so enraging because there is nothing I can do about it.  I am held hostage by these DMV people and it makes me angry.

If I were a NEW driver, I might understand.  For Pete’s sake, I’ve been driving for OVER 20 years. I’ve been licensed in 4 other states.  And NONE OF THEM, I repeat, NOT ONE made it such an incredible pain in the butt that these people have.  Here’s how they do it in other states, at least the ones I’ve lived in…You go to your local DMV. You show them your old license.  You show them something that proves you now live in their state.  You pay them money and surrender your old license. They take your picture and they give you your new license. Oh, and they say “welcome to our state”, with a smile.  People, I don’t make this stuff up.  TAKE A LESSON, South Carolina!  OR at the very least, give me a reasonable explanation for the ridiculous amount of documentation you require!

I mean, do they think people just sit around all day and think about how they might dupe the SC DMV today? 

Hunched over, wringing their hands together and laughing maniacally??  “MUUAAAAHAHA HA HA HA.  Let me just pretend that this is who I am. Let me bring in this mocked up birth certificate, just to see if they will issue me a SC driver’s license.  Haha ha ha ha.” Seriously, I don’t have that kind of time, people!


Quote from the DMV lady: “All you have to do is order you one from the vital statistics office.”  ALL I HAVE TO DO???  All I have to do is leave here, with my blood pressure boiling, drive 35 minutes back to my house, call the vital statistics office in DC, sit on the phone for 20 minutes with them answering questions, give them my credit card which they bill $56.95 for a stupid piece of paper WHICH I ALREADY HAD.  THEN, I will have to wait however many days they decide to take to get said piece of paper to me, take another day and drive 35 minutes back to the stinkin’ DMV and see that woman’s mug all over again for a THIRD time.  Yeah, that’s all I have to do. That and down a stiff drink.




Filed under Humor, Rants

6 responses to “Licensed to Drive?

  1. Unknown

    Man that\’s suck-a-roonie!Love the pics!!!!!Mercy

  2. Toni

    Well crap dang nabbit I\’ve been putting off getting my Oklahoma liscense going on 3 years now…seriously I have to do it before December. And you\’ve gone and greatly discouraged me. Thanks. 🙂
    LOVE the quotes below…especially the one about the Raid…that\’s me. No really. Me. I think I must have wrote that.

  3. Jim

    It is a scam meant to frustrate the people.  Basically the man beating us down.  🙂  I get so frustrated when I have to go to the DMV.  When you don\’t know what to do and ask they look at you like your crazy simply becuase you don\’t know.  In reality, very few people actually think it is normal to wait hours and hours just to get your drivers license.  Oh well.  Hang in there.  For that stiff drinnk, I have a great recipie for a tasty vanilla drink made with Makers Mark.  🙂 

  4. siobhan

    Holy Cow that is crazy!  The DMV is bad enough without all of that.  Do they think that a DL from South Carolina is somehow prized above all others?  Have that drink honey, you\’ve earned it!

  5. Cindy

    You could skip the whole thing and just have the drink …

  6. barnyardmama

    IS it in any way related to the post 9/11 hoopla?   I guess I\’ll find out–I\’m going to have to get a LA driver\’s liscense one of these days.

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