Confessions of a Happy Homemaker

“If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies.’ ”
~Phyllis Diller

“Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?”
~Katherine Whitehorn


Here’s a shocker…I’m not gifted in the housekeeping department. 

(Again with the clutter, you say??  Afraid so.  Yes, it is a recurring theme.  Get used to it, or go read something else.) 

It is a problem I had hoped to master by now, seeing as I’m 37 and all.  I have tried many times over the years to “make” myself be more organized.  More anal in my house cleaning.  I have read books on it and tried different systems–these of course, only added to my clutter.  Because you KNOW that having a spotless home would make me a better wife, mother and person in general, don’t you?  A cluttered home somehow makes you a failure in the aforementioned areas, right?  Twisted, I know.  But somewhere along the way, I came to believe this was true.  Why?   

Oh, I can do it…for a limited time only.  There are just so many OTHER things I could be doing.  Other things that I deem way more valuable than a shiny toilet bowl and no dust bunnies under the couch.  I have been on and off the wagon more times than I can count.  I can do it in “fits and starts”, as I call it. Like when company is coming over, for example.  That tends to provide me with the necessary motivation to get things looking presentable.  I mean, there are only SO many doors you can keep closed, people!!  That’s when my hubby looks at me with a cheesy grin and says, “Hey babe, we should invite people over EVERY weekend!!”

But to no avail.  

It goes WAY back.  All the way back to my childhood.  (Doesn’t everything??)  Oh, my poor mama, bless her heart.  I must have given her a rash like you wouldn’t believe!  I remember many a time her telling me, “Joell Marie, you are not going ANYwhere until that room gets cleaned up!!”  When they start whipping out the middle name, well, you know they mean business.  I did hate the room cleaning.  Now I can only reminisce about the time when my room was the ONLY thing I was responsible for keeping straight!  Ha!

Ahhhh, those were the days…And let me just take this moment to say, MOM I am so sorry I didn’t help out more growing up.  I certainly understand now how much work you did for us and how exhausted and exasperated you must have been most of the time!  Love you, Mama! 

I think I just wasn’t born organized, you know?  While my mom wasn’t a neat freak by any stretch, I don’t remember our house being messy.  So I didn’t grow up in a pigsty–other than my room, that is.  So, if I didn’t learn to be a messy, then I must have been born that way, right?  Ah, sweet mystery!  I do ponder it from time to time…now being one of those times.  I would LOVE for my house to be “company ready” all the time.  But I am starting to believe that it just ain’t gonna happen.  Am I giving up or am I just being realistic?  Do I sense some self-acceptance here?  Perhaps. 

Yesterday’s “fit” occurred when I piled 6 loads of laundry in the car and took them to the laundromat to do them all at once because I am so behind from all the” lice laundry”.  Never mind there are still at least 6 more loads yet to be done covering my laundry room floor.  But, $19 later, at least all the sheets, comforters, pillows and mattress protectors are clean now.  Who knew you couldn’t do a load of laundry for $1 anymore?  But hey, I don’t think I’ve been in a laundromat since 1992…Really, I don’t want to hop down that bunny trail today…I could rant about my laundry for days.

Today’s “fit” took place in the garage.  There was a manic clean out going on in there this afternoon.  I was like a crazy woman.  Hauling every item out onto the front lawn.  Tossing stuff into the “dump” pile like mad.  I was merciless.  I kinda like it when I get like that.  It’s a little bit of a power trip.  Then, when it’s all said and done and I can walk through the garage without my feet sticking to the floor or without falling over some bike, scooter, roller blades or helmet, I must say I feel quite a rush.

It begs the question, with a raised eyebrow, why can’t this be a daily occurrence?  It’s a “thing that makes ya say, hmmm” with index finger curiously pointing to chin. 

I have often blamed my lack of organization on my lack of space.  True, I don’t have a big house, but I have had houses bigger than the one I currently live in and they were equally as cluttered.  I have blamed it on my busy schedule, but there are plenty of people WAY busier than I am and they can manage.  They certainly can’t ALL have maids!  I really only have myself to blame.

So, I guess I will have to just accept the fact that my house will never be perfectly clean.  I’m not a bad wife, mother or person.  If my friends love me, they will love me in spite of my messy tendencies and truly, my kids don’t really care.  My husband, however, does like clean sheets, one side of the sink empty, and a trash can that isn’t over-flowing.  I do try to accommodate him in those areas, because it’s really not too much to ask. 

Let’s just say I’m a work in progress…just like my house.  😉


“At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.”
~Rose Macaulay



Filed under Humor, Lessons

3 responses to “Confessions of a Happy Homemaker

  1. barnyardmama

    I\’ve never been any good at house work either–but my husband claims I\’m improving (of course, he hasn\’t seen the mega-mess I just made in the kitchen).  My only hope is to one day make enough money so that I can at least pay someone to vacuum, dust, do the toliets, etc.  My dream for the future. . .

  2. Tera

    Have you tried flylady?  I did. Shhhhhh…..I\’m a fly lady drop out….. LOL

  3. Tiffany

    That is funny!  I\’m totally opposite.  Yes, there are "some" weeks that I skip cleaning, but for the most part I truly think I\’m obssesed.  🙂  Your friends shouldn\’t like you because you have a clean house… I like getting mad at someone… that makes me clean better!  I think the entire month of January you could eat off my kitchen floor because I kept cleaning. 
    Hugs to you… and hope the lice is all gone!

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